Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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