she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
