At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
