If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
My vagina is officially offended.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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