In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
