and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize