Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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