Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Also, beer. Big fan.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
