I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
