Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
do herpes really smell.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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