from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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