Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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