The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
whose parrot is this?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize
