my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
