Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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