Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i just had sex bonerless
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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