She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
