i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
