I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Randomize
