Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
