he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
the liver wants what the liver wants
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
