2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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