She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
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