Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize