I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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