goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
