I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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