do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
We left the knife in your bed.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
