if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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