How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
vagina is talking i cant
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize