Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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