let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
so much tequila, so little girl.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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