Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Randomize
