their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
