It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
