Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
