She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
