The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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