My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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