at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
