My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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