but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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