I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Randomize
