Pappa wants mamma naked
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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