Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
