PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
