i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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