Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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