Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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