my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
