Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
