took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
