Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
