I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
