Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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