I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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