Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize