we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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