I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I feel like death gave me a hand job
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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