I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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