I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
