you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
