There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Randomize
