Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
i now understand why vodka
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
