just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He better not be in your backpack
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
