Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
