At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
