My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
