With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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